Tag Archives: friday ficioneers

Meet The Parents

14 Jan

For: Friday Fictioneers

PHOTO PROMPT - Copyright - Jan Wayne Fields

PHOTO PROMPT – Copyright – Jan Wayne Fields

Meet The Parents

“Are you sure the table settings are spotless? he asks, watching for his parent’s arrival.

“Absolutely”she replies from the bedroom “I washed and polished everything by hand.”

“Good! Make sure you put on the dress I chose for you and I want your hair done up in a bun; not hanging messy on your shoulders. Please go easy on the make-up and for heaven’s sake NO perfume, my parents are very particular about that.”

“Anything else your majesty?” she snaps

“No, nothing. You’ll look perfect, they are going to love you as much as I do.”

 

Le Sommelier

24 Sep

 

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

26 September 2014

Hosted on  September 24, 2014 by rochellewisoff

Copyright - Marie Gail Stratford

Le Sommelier

Albert  has invited a co-worker to his home intending to impress her by preparing a gourmet meal. When his guest arrives he glances over at his german shepherd Marcel. “Go down to the cellar and bring me back a bottle of red.” he tells the dog.

The woman looks amazed a few minutes later when the dog returns with a bottle of wine in his mouth which he lays at his master’s feet. “What an incredibly smart dog!” she says completely awestruck.

“He’s not as smart as you think” replies her host “darn dog can’t tell the difference between a shiraz and a merlot.”

 

 

Blessed Salts Inc.

18 Sep

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

19 September 2014

©Tales_From_the_Motherland

Photo copyright: Dawn Q. Landau or even better..Tales From the Motherland Facebook page and give her a “like”

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The C.E.O of Blessed Salts Inc. was giving a presentation to his American investors.

“We only hire workers who are over the age of seventy” he said proudly. “In exchange for their labor they are given free room and board in luxury suites. We also supply clothing and all necessities of life.”

“Interesting concept” says the Governor of Vermont “does that keep them from stealing?”

“Unfortunately no” came the answer as a gunshot rang out “if we catch them we shoot them. They are  going to  burden  their families if we fire them. Besides,  the elderly are expendable.”

A Reflection On Life..

11 Sep

Written for Friday Fictioneers

12 September 2014

Copyright - Janet Webb

Photo Copyright – Janet Webb

A Reflection On Life..

She walked into her bathroom and locked the door leaving all the pretence behind her. The face that stared back at her from the mirror was pale, the eyes haunted.

Her hospital stay had been a whirlwind of activity. The day of her surgery a haze of medications and questions. Always questions. How do you feel? Do you want to talk about it?

She slowly unbuttoned her blouse revealing the bandage beneath. With trembling hands and heavy heart she unwound the gauze and stared at what remained of her femininity. It’s just a breast..it’s just a breast

Cookout

4 Sep

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

5 September 2014

Campfire

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cookout

Juju wanted to treat his American neighbors to an authentic cookout from his homeland. He spent several hours preparing the meat, wrapping it tightly in water saturated banana leaves. After digging a pit in the sand he carefully placed the package inside then built a roaring fire just above it. After waiting patiently for the fire to die down, the meat was removed and sliced into paper-thin strips and served with a hot dipping sauce.

How delicious! they raved

Succulent!  others agreed

Did you say wild boar? asked another

Juju shook his head no..

I said wild Boris..he used to be my mailman.

 

Dreams

14 Aug

Written for Friday Fictioneers

15 August 2014

Hosted on  August 13, 2014 by rochellewisoff

PHOTO PROMPT -Copyright - Jan Wayne Fields
PHOTO PROMPT -Copyright – Jan Wayne Fields
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Above my antique writing desk is a watercolor painting that came to me by way of my Grandfather . The glass is cracked in one corner the result of falling to the floor the day my Aunt left his house forever, slamming the door behind her.

“Women have no business attending medical school” he had yelled at the closed door “next damn thing you’ll be wanting to vote.”

I keep a picture of Granddad propped  on the desk as a daily reminder of how one man’s narrowmindedness inspired someone to follow her dream. I pick up my pen and follow mine..

Willie Alaire

7 Aug

written for Friday Fictioneers

8 August 2014

Björn 6

PHOTO PROMPT – Copyright-Björn Rudberg

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Willie Alaire

William Alaire is an artist. Unfortunately  for him, his best work is done when he is stark naked. Uninhibited by clothing and unspoken rules he makes magic with brush and oils.

His neighbors were always complaining about him. Put aside that they were all voyeurs,  Willie was the constant recipient of police visits and citations for indecent exposure.

When he found the house on Craig’s List he could hardly believe his luck, his nearest neighbor was almost twenty kilometers away! He finished unpacking and stripped down.

What he hadn’t planned for was the mosquitos the size of helicopters.

Honeymooners

30 Jul

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

1 August 2014

PHOTO PROMPT- Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

PHOTO PROMPT- Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields    

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The past two weeks have been a whirlwind of emotion, first a wedding and then a funeral. Fifteen days after saying our vows we are finally arriving at our honeymoon destination. Through the small window I can see the beautiful Irish landscape as we make our approach into Cork, land of your Father and Grandfather. My heart skips a beat as we touch down.
I can hardly believe we have finally arrived. Stepping off the plane onto the tarmac I taste the early morning air then stand patiently to the side while they unload your coffin from the cargo hold.

Blind Date

24 Jul

Written For: Friday Fictioneers

25 July 2014

Copyright - Marie Gail Stratford

PHOTO PROMPT Copyright – Marie Gail Stratford

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My ( soon to be former ) friend has set me up on yet another blind date,  so hot on the heels of the man from plaid and a rhinestone cowboy comes this..

While he is busily assaulting my ears with irrefutable proof of his supreme intelligence I signal the waiter. “You’re one of those fork people” my date says rolling his eyes because he, of course, has mastered the chopsticks.

I simply smile and nod then spend my evening trying hard not to fixate on what is clearly 3/4 of his meal as it dries to  the front of his paisley shirt.

Ramrodded

16 Jul

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

18 July 2014

PHOTO PROMPT - Copyright - Adam Ickes

PHOTO PROMPT – Copyright – Adam Ickes

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John had an appointment with the * small business loans * director at his local bank. He felt very nervous as he was shown into the office with his business plan in hand. As he took his seat he could not help staring at the ram that stood in the corner. Noticing his gaze, the director simply stated that it was his financial advisor.

After presenting his case, John was told that he would have a reply within the hour. He thanked the man and left.

“So what do you think Marvin?” queried the manager

“Naaaaa” replied the advisor.