Tag Archives: comedy

The Waiting Game

1 Feb

Sunday Photo Fiction – February 1st 2015

Posed skeleton in a shed

Héctor Miedo chanced a glimpse out of the cabin window. ” I know he’s still out there, I can feel it in my bones” he says squinting his good eye to get a better look.

His mates sigh in unison. They have been hiding in this  god – forsaken cabin for centuries now. None of them bold enough to challenge their captain. He was once known to have cleaved a man to his brisket for simply implying that he could perhaps suffer from irrational fears, after all..what danger could the Michelin man actually pose?

“Perhaps” the captain says , his voice quavering, “we can wait a little longer to be sure..”

Just outside the window his nemesis waits patiently …

READ OTHER STORIES
AND ADD YOUR LINK

 

Honeymooners

12 Jan

95 01 January 11th 2015

“I’m thinking this was not such a great idea” he says holding back her hair as she spews the contents of her stomach over the railing.

“I just need to get my sea legs” she replies weakly between wretches.

This was supposed to be their romantic honeymoon. A seven-day cruise on the most expensive ship that they could afford. “Maybe we should just forget it? What’s it going to be like when the ship finally sets sail?”

“I’ll be fine, honestly” she replies, her face turning greener, as  Titanic II slowly casts off…

written for:

Sunday Photo Fiction – January 11th 2015

Le Sommelier

24 Sep

 

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

26 September 2014

Hosted on  September 24, 2014 by rochellewisoff

Copyright - Marie Gail Stratford

Le Sommelier

Albert  has invited a co-worker to his home intending to impress her by preparing a gourmet meal. When his guest arrives he glances over at his german shepherd Marcel. “Go down to the cellar and bring me back a bottle of red.” he tells the dog.

The woman looks amazed a few minutes later when the dog returns with a bottle of wine in his mouth which he lays at his master’s feet. “What an incredibly smart dog!” she says completely awestruck.

“He’s not as smart as you think” replies her host “darn dog can’t tell the difference between a shiraz and a merlot.”

 

 

bubbles

22 Sep

written for:

Sunday Photo Fiction: September 21st 2014

A bubble

a dancer who wore just a bubble

made me forget that I was in deep trouble

her routine well rehearsed

but my fantasy burst

when I noticed her chin had some stubble

Cookout

4 Sep

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

5 September 2014

Campfire

————————-

cookout

Juju wanted to treat his American neighbors to an authentic cookout from his homeland. He spent several hours preparing the meat, wrapping it tightly in water saturated banana leaves. After digging a pit in the sand he carefully placed the package inside then built a roaring fire just above it. After waiting patiently for the fire to die down, the meat was removed and sliced into paper-thin strips and served with a hot dipping sauce.

How delicious! they raved

Succulent!  others agreed

Did you say wild boar? asked another

Juju shook his head no..

I said wild Boris..he used to be my mailman.

 

Willie Alaire

7 Aug

written for Friday Fictioneers

8 August 2014

Björn 6

PHOTO PROMPT – Copyright-Björn Rudberg

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willie Alaire

William Alaire is an artist. Unfortunately  for him, his best work is done when he is stark naked. Uninhibited by clothing and unspoken rules he makes magic with brush and oils.

His neighbors were always complaining about him. Put aside that they were all voyeurs,  Willie was the constant recipient of police visits and citations for indecent exposure.

When he found the house on Craig’s List he could hardly believe his luck, his nearest neighbor was almost twenty kilometers away! He finished unpacking and stripped down.

What he hadn’t planned for was the mosquitos the size of helicopters.

Blind Date

24 Jul

Written For: Friday Fictioneers

25 July 2014

Copyright - Marie Gail Stratford

PHOTO PROMPT Copyright – Marie Gail Stratford

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My ( soon to be former ) friend has set me up on yet another blind date,  so hot on the heels of the man from plaid and a rhinestone cowboy comes this..

While he is busily assaulting my ears with irrefutable proof of his supreme intelligence I signal the waiter. “You’re one of those fork people” my date says rolling his eyes because he, of course, has mastered the chopsticks.

I simply smile and nod then spend my evening trying hard not to fixate on what is clearly 3/4 of his meal as it dries to  the front of his paisley shirt.

Deflating One’s Ego

21 Jul

Written for:

Sunday Photo Fiction: July 20th 2014

Heads up..slightly naughty..

69 07 July 20th 2014

Nancy was insanely jealous of her older sister. Linda would just step out the door and the boys would come running like ants to a picnic while she went unnoticed. “If I could just grow some boobies” she grumbled as she checked her profile in the mirror hoping to see some improvement. Mama told her to stop worrying and just be herself but what did she know?

The girls had just arrived at their grandparent’s for a weekend sleep over and as usual Linda was the center of attention. “Not this time!” Nancy thought ..

After hooking on one of her sister’s bras, Nancy inserted two water-filled balloons. She had been very careful to ensure that they appeared of equal size. She pulled on a tee-shirt that stretched to its seams and stepped into the street and headed to where a group of boys were playing street soccer.

Because of her inability to see her feet, she tripped over someones backpack and fell flat on her face; her “breasts” exploding like an A-bomb.

Ramrodded

16 Jul

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

18 July 2014

PHOTO PROMPT - Copyright - Adam Ickes

PHOTO PROMPT – Copyright – Adam Ickes

———————

John had an appointment with the * small business loans * director at his local bank. He felt very nervous as he was shown into the office with his business plan in hand. As he took his seat he could not help staring at the ram that stood in the corner. Noticing his gaze, the director simply stated that it was his financial advisor.

After presenting his case, John was told that he would have a reply within the hour. He thanked the man and left.

“So what do you think Marvin?” queried the manager

“Naaaaa” replied the advisor.

Measure

5 Jul

written for:

Light and Shade Challenge Friday 4 July 2014

Image courtesy of freeimages.co.uk


some men got together to measure

something that would give her great pleasure

she stroked every one

and when she was done

chose the carpet she knew she would treasure