23 Mar

Written for Sunday Photo Fiction

Sunday Photo Fiction: March 23rd 2014

Fog lingering around Dover Western (Cruise) Docks. [Image has been adjusted so it can be seen properly]

Fog lingering around Dover Western (Cruise) Docks. [Image has been adjusted so it can be seen properly]


Maura stood staring into the fog long after the cruise ship had departed. Her parents had planned this trip for over a year. “A second honeymoon”, they had said laughingly.

How was she to tell them of her recurring nightmare? The screams, the water, then the frightening silence? Just that morning, she had awakened sobbing uncontrollably.

Mum and Dad had chuckled when she hugged them goodbye. ” Lordy! It’s just a ten-day cruise.” her Dad had quipped.She was surprised by the taste of blood in her mouth as she turned to walk away and realized that she had bitten her tongue out of fear.

On her way home the stress and fatigue began to get the better of her. She did not notice until the last second that the lorry in front of her had stopped. She hit the brake pedal and swerved to miss it. Her car screeched to the left and spun through the air like a top, landing on its roof in the water filled ditch where she drowned before she could be rescued.



8 Responses to “Premonition”

  1. David Stewart March 23, 2014 at 9:30 am #

    Nice use of misdirection. 🙂 We find out the truth with the main character but not until it’s too late. Great job.

  2. Al March 23, 2014 at 9:35 am #

    Nice!! The premonition was the wrong way round. Brilliantly told.

  3. babso2you March 23, 2014 at 11:04 am #

    I was not expecting that ending at all! Good one!

  4. J. Raven March 23, 2014 at 2:13 pm #

    You got me! Wasn’t expecting that for a second. Nicely played 😉

  5. EagleAye March 23, 2014 at 9:42 pm #

    Ohmigosh. It always happens like this. When people have a premonition and try to defeat fate, it simply resolves the way in an unexpected place. A very clever ending I never expected. Great job!

  6. misskzebra March 24, 2014 at 2:13 pm #

    Very grim! My dreams are far too bizarre for me to fear them coming true.

  7. Adam Ickes March 24, 2014 at 11:01 pm #

    Wonderful twist. Never saw that one coming.

  8. patriciaruthsusan March 25, 2014 at 4:45 pm #

    Great twist at the end. Sad story, but well done.

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