Freedom

20 Mar

Haibun Thinking: Week 9 – March 18th 2014

Golly, did I hear you say you would be free if you could?

Gussy the Goose, Charlotte’s Web (2006)

———————-

At the age of fifteen, I discovered my freedom where it had been buried all along; hidden inside me behind the fear and lack of self-worth.
That bitter cold November day, I saw my father for the first time for what he truly was. A cowardly bully who vented his alcohol-fueled rage upon his children. He would often tell us that we were a great disappointment to him and it was his shame that caused him to drink. He abused us because we deserved it.
On that day, he raised his hand to me for the last time. Without a word, I walked upstairs to the bedroom and called the police. Of this I am not proud. What kind of daughter sends her father to jail?
But something else happened that day. I stopped allowing him to victimize me and in some strange way I think he respected me for it.
teenager discovers within
the secret to freedom
independence day
————
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose,
Nothing don’t mean nothing honey if it ain’t free,
“Me & Bobby McGee”

JANIS JOPLIN

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8 Responses to “Freedom”

  1. AnElephantCant March 20, 2014 at 10:01 am #

    Phew, powerful stuff here, hopefully cathartic.
    And, of course, very well written.

    • high five and raspberries March 20, 2014 at 10:14 am #

      I just hope it did not come out sounding like “poor me”. If I can get just one person to be brave enough to get help, to stop the cycle, then whatever shame I feel is unimportant.

      • AnElephantCant March 20, 2014 at 3:50 pm #

        Not at all.
        A terrific piece, and inspirational.
        AnElephant bows to your courage, dear lady.

  2. Al March 20, 2014 at 11:35 am #

    I was going to use the words that AnElephant used and say it was powerful, because it is. I was holding my breath through part of that. I agree that if it helps with just one person, then that one person can help just one person and so it goes.

    An excellent Haibun.

  3. summerstommy2 March 20, 2014 at 11:38 am #

    A very powerful and strong haibun Pat, very courageous outcome to an extremely difficult situation. Very well done. Good for you.

  4. Brenda March 22, 2014 at 3:18 pm #

    Pat, I agree with the others, but further, I feel sad for the little girl who was forced to such actions. Hugs for that little girl, who should have been hugged, protected and cherished all along. Often the strong people in families become the scapegoats, the targets, the ones everyone feels safe “venting” on, even though that makes them the lightning rod for every emotional scene. I hope that didn’t happen to you. I hope you were praised and adored for finding the strength to stop that terrible cycle. Hugs, Brenda

    • high five and raspberries March 22, 2014 at 4:00 pm #

      Small town mentality dictated the outcome. Easier to call the children liars and turn your back. I will never understand why but I believe my past has made me stronger. I AM a survivor. * Thanks for the hug *

      • Brenda March 22, 2014 at 4:04 pm #

        Yes, life is never solved by one phone call. But you are strong, my friend.

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