Up or Down ?

19 Mar

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

21 March 2014

Copyright -Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Photo Copyright -Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

—————

Diagnosed with terminal cancer, Pam  decided to forgo any treatment and enjoy the time she had left. She spent some nights pondering the afterlife. Would she go to Heaven or Hell?

She remembered the dollar she had stolen from  Mother’s purse, the time she hit her little brother, when she lied to get a job.She also recalled baking for charity, caring for her elderly Grandma, clearing snow for her neighbour.

When she died she found herself in an elevator which had no buttons. The doors closed and it  slowly began to move..

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25 Responses to “Up or Down ?”

  1. summerstommy2 March 19, 2014 at 7:43 am #

    Excellent Pat, did it go up or down, loved this one.

  2. Horus March 19, 2014 at 8:49 am #

    Up or down? up or down? 🙂

  3. siobhanmcnamara March 19, 2014 at 8:57 am #

    I suspect it went up. She sounds like a good woman

  4. tinkerbelle96 March 19, 2014 at 9:50 am #

    Everyone has their share of bad and good deeds, but Pam’s good deeds seem to matter a lot more than the trivial bad things she had done.. hope she ends up in heaven!

  5. rochellewisoff March 19, 2014 at 10:00 am #

    Dear Patricia,

    I love the way you left us in limbo. Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  6. David Stewart March 19, 2014 at 10:33 am #

    Oh sure, leave us in suspense. 🙂 I’ll bet, in a totally twist ending, it went sideways, right?

  7. Riya Anne Polcastro March 19, 2014 at 11:47 am #

    Nice take on the photo!

  8. sustainabilitea March 19, 2014 at 11:54 am #

    This may be one of my favorites of things you’ve written. I can feel her imagining this and you pulled the photo in perfectly with both your title and the ending, leaving us in (dare I use the word?) limbo 🙂 I also like that you did it in such a matter-of-fact way.

    janet

  9. JudahFirst March 19, 2014 at 1:42 pm #

    Oh my! And aren’t we all that mixture of good and bad? Very thought-provoking story.

  10. K.Z. March 19, 2014 at 1:49 pm #

    this is such an awesome idea. the lack of buttons, the mysterious ending… i really hope that she was brought to a wonderful place, she seemed like a nice person 🙂

  11. Maryann Holloway March 19, 2014 at 6:54 pm #

    I am sure the elevator ascended

  12. Shandra March 19, 2014 at 10:40 pm #

    No fair! 🙂 great suspense but where did she go?? Well played story.

  13. sarahbeasmith March 20, 2014 at 1:28 am #

    a quite touching story and the fact that she reflected on her life that way made me believe the elevator would have gone straight up! I loved the ending the way it prompted the reader to contemplate……:-)

  14. patriciaruthsusan March 20, 2014 at 1:41 am #

    Good story. She was sorry for the wrong she’d done and had done some very good things. I feel sure she went upwards. Well written.

  15. EagleAye March 20, 2014 at 11:18 am #

    Most excellent! People are rarely strictly good or bad, but an amalgam of the two. I notice you didn’t say which direction the elevator moved. Nice touch.

  16. talesfromthemotherland March 20, 2014 at 5:09 pm #

    This may in fact be what we all fear most! Wonderful story, Patricia; I really enjoyed this one!

  17. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) March 20, 2014 at 6:01 pm #

    Ah. when that day comes there are no choices.. all is decided.

  18. Karen Whitelaw March 20, 2014 at 7:49 pm #

    I love this story, Patricia. We have all done things we are proud of and things we regret, which puts us right there on the elevator with your narrator. She is us, and we still don’t know which way we’re going. Brilliant!

  19. Nan Falkner March 21, 2014 at 1:38 am #

    Up or Down? That is the question. I think she goes up because she has done many good deeds, and recognizes her errors. Very, very good story! Nan 🙂

  20. petrujviljoen March 21, 2014 at 4:31 am #

    Sounds more like a dream than a journey into the afterlife. God’s kind, she’ll find her way.

  21. Helena Hann-Basquiat March 22, 2014 at 6:42 am #

    It goes sideways, turns into a TARDIS and she spends eternity travelling the universe with the Doctor. (cue music).
    Well told. Shame on you for not giving us the answer! (kidding)

  22. storydivamg March 22, 2014 at 3:55 pm #

    In line with Helena’s comment, I think this could be much like the Great Glass Wonkavator from Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.

    Interesting take on the prompt. I like the way you leave the ending to the reader’s imagination.

    Cheers!
    MG

  23. lingeringvisions by Dawn March 22, 2014 at 6:55 pm #

    Purgatory?

  24. Ade Branwell March 23, 2014 at 4:46 pm #

    Very nicely written. I loved the open ending

  25. Sarah Ann March 26, 2014 at 10:08 am #

    Love the u uncertainty of that ending. It adds so much to your story.

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