Containment

5 Mar

Written for Friday Fictioneers

Hosted by the lovely Rochelle – you can pay her a visit here:

7 March 2014

Published March 5, 2014 by rochellewisoff

Copyright - Danny Bowman
Photo Copyright – Danny Bowman
Soldiers attacked the neighborhood houses simultaneously not to give a warning or a chance for defense. “We’ve done nothing wrong” I yelled as they dragged me and my daughter out to their bus, shoving us through the door at gun point.
Many of the faces I knew in the overcrowded vehicle, all asking .. why ?
“For your own protection” they repeated ad nauseum.
It’s been three months since they dumped us off in this desolate place. Those who dared to attempt escape were hung in the courtyard as a reminder.The Peoples Republic Army will spare no effort nor cost to contain the spread of blue eyes.
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26 Responses to “Containment”

  1. rochellewisoff March 5, 2014 at 7:30 am #

    Dear Patricia,

    Your ending line is both subtle and chilling. Bravo!

    shalom,

    Rochelle

  2. sustainabilitea March 5, 2014 at 7:43 am #

    Rings much too true! You might move your first line down a bit as it now looks like the soldiers are Danny Bowman’s. 🙂

    janet

    • high five and raspberries March 5, 2014 at 7:46 am #

      thanks wordpress is being hokey this morning..it just put the linkie in front of blue eyes lol

      • sustainabilitea March 5, 2014 at 7:47 am #

        WordPress sometimes drives me to the brink by refusing to do things that are so simple!! Grrrrrr!

  3. Adam Ickes March 5, 2014 at 8:14 am #

    Creeptastic ending. An all too real possibility.

  4. Lisa Yow-Williams March 5, 2014 at 8:38 am #

    Fantastic ending to a great story. I didn’t expect that. It’s chilling to even think about.

  5. lingeringvisions by Dawn March 5, 2014 at 10:17 am #

    Wonderful!

  6. Helena Hann-Basquiat March 5, 2014 at 10:38 am #

    Now, would that be The People’s Republic of Helena — ’cause we’re a peaceful sort — no army. Nope. What’s that? You heard I’m amassing a goon squad to FORCE people to pledge? Ridiculous! (What, you think it would work?)

  7. Dee March 5, 2014 at 11:21 am #

    Scary and an all too real ending
    Well done
    Dee

  8. sandraconner March 5, 2014 at 12:00 pm #

    A very powerful piece. We need to be reminded of those who suffered such atrocities and of the possibilities for the future. Very good job.

  9. Jan Brown March 5, 2014 at 2:09 pm #

    Wow. This is very powerful, with a thought-provoking twist. Very well done.

  10. patriciaruthsusan March 6, 2014 at 12:47 am #

    Well done. Very realistic as similar events are unfolding in parts of the world today.

  11. David Stewart March 6, 2014 at 12:58 am #

    This rings true in that most of the time one group is oppressed, it’s for something they have absolutely now control over, and almost as random as eye color. I like the pretext, “for your own protection”. What they don’t add is “from us.”

  12. cshowers March 6, 2014 at 1:32 am #

    Creepy, and a reminder of the atrocities that still go on even today.

  13. Karen Whitelaw March 6, 2014 at 4:09 am #

    This is a universal theme. If it wasn’t ‘blue eyes’ it would be something else. Well done, Patricia.

  14. patrickprinsloo March 6, 2014 at 4:43 am #

    It happens. Blue eyes is a great metaphor. Nicely done.

  15. atrm61 March 6, 2014 at 9:23 am #

    Wow!A chilling reminder of what has happened and can happen again unless we are careful!Excellent story Patricia:-)

  16. K.Z. March 6, 2014 at 11:37 am #

    a very powerful piece. what a nightmare!

  17. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) March 6, 2014 at 1:49 pm #

    I find this a very strong piece… and blue eyes or whatever reason in the name of xenophobia is very chilling in days like this.

  18. DCTdesigns March 6, 2014 at 3:22 pm #

    This was chilling. The last line was perfect.

  19. siobhanmcnamara March 7, 2014 at 1:41 pm #

    Great story with a perfect ending

  20. storydivamg March 7, 2014 at 5:22 pm #

    I just slouched a little lower behind my computer to hide my blue eyes.

    MG

  21. tinkerbelle96 March 8, 2014 at 1:56 am #

    Uhh! That made me shudder. Prosecution os this sort could indeed be scary. Well done!

  22. Sun March 8, 2014 at 11:16 pm #

    great story. ☺

  23. Riya Anne Polcastro March 9, 2014 at 11:45 am #

    That wasn’t the ending I was expecting at all!

  24. talesfromthemotherland March 9, 2014 at 7:52 pm #

    This story is riveting, and that final line sent a chill right through me. Really well done, Tricia!

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