The Shack That Love Built

8 Jan

Written for :  FRIDAY FICTIONEERS  10 January 2013

Copyright-Dawn Q. Landau

Photo Copyright-Dawn Q. Landau

The Shack That Love Built

The story was known by everyone, passed from one generation to the next as a fine example of true love.

Milton had built the tiny pink love shack as a surprise gift for his wife’s twenty-fifth birthday. Two weeks before the special day she suddenly disappeared and was never seen again.

The distraught husband insisted on taking the authorities down to the beach to show them the gift that awaited her return. They shook his hand as he choked back his tears.

Now, almost sixty years later, the wind and the sea are reclaiming the rock and eventually they will also embrace the skeleton of the body that Milton hid there.

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22 Responses to “The Shack That Love Built”

  1. Subroto January 8, 2014 at 7:35 am #

    Sound like Milton’s Paradise Lost. Nicely done.

  2. Joe Owens January 8, 2014 at 7:52 am #

    Milton what did she do to deserve such a fate? I love it.

  3. David Stewart January 8, 2014 at 7:52 am #

    Oh, that’s devious. 🙂 He is quite the dissembler.

  4. kz January 8, 2014 at 8:11 am #

    a perfect murder. they didn’t suspect it was him at all. neither did i. 🙂

  5. Sandra January 8, 2014 at 8:15 am #

    He had some nerve there. Nice little tale.

  6. claireful January 8, 2014 at 9:15 am #

    So many bodies are buried under that rock this week. Loved it. I really didn’t suspect Milton.

  7. silentlyheardonce January 8, 2014 at 12:17 pm #

    The perfect murder. Nice work.

  8. sustainabilitea January 8, 2014 at 12:23 pm #

    The husband is always the first suspect when a wife dies…and for good reason.

    janet

  9. Linda Vernon January 8, 2014 at 3:54 pm #

    Such a good story. You wrote it so well.

  10. mike olley January 8, 2014 at 4:36 pm #

    If you’re going to hide something, do it in plain sight. The cheek of Milton.

  11. liz young January 8, 2014 at 5:29 pm #

    Embrace the skeleton or reveal it? Will Milton get away with it or not?

  12. rochellewisoff January 8, 2014 at 6:19 pm #

    Dear Patricia,

    Milton’s the clever one, isn’t he? So’s your story. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  13. Jan Brown January 9, 2014 at 1:33 am #

    Talk about getting cold feet!

  14. JKBradley January 9, 2014 at 9:49 am #

    Buried within the new concrete floor, perhaps?

  15. pattisj January 10, 2014 at 12:49 am #

    Note to self–never date a fellow named Milton.

  16. Lindaura Glamoura January 10, 2014 at 11:52 am #

    Oh, that Milton, a nasty piece of work. Where is the Mentalist when we need him`/

  17. waitingforaname January 10, 2014 at 3:09 pm #

    Great story. A couple comments. 1) In the last line, you have a little antecedent/pronoun disagreement with “wind and sea” and “it.” Either use “they” or separate wind and sea so that only one of them reclaims the body. 2) I found the last paragraph a little jarring. You begin with a tale told for generations (a broad, communal point of view), but you switch to a very close point of view in that last paragraph when you reveal information NOT known to everyone. I think a more startling end – and one that would continue the feeling of a community legend -would be not to write about what will happen “soon,” but to have Milton’s secret made public… Maybe something like: “For years, the wind and sea wore away the rock until, on what would have been her 85th birthday, the walls crumbled and we knew at last where Milton’s wife had gone.”

  18. talesfromthemotherland January 10, 2014 at 10:17 pm #

    Patricia, Dang! I wanted to like Milton. I believe in him. Like the others, I embraced the love story… and then you pulled the rug out from all of us. Cleverly done.

  19. nanclairefalkner January 10, 2014 at 11:11 pm #

    Milton was a murderer! His wife must have done something pretty bad to deserve such a head stone! Really clever! Thanks, Nan

  20. lingeringvisions by Dawn January 11, 2014 at 10:26 pm #

    That bastard!

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