Calling Home

22 May

Image

photo copyright: Danny Bowman

For Friday Fictioneers

http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/

 

Ten years ago today mother tossed him out and he misses her terribly.

Standing before the payphone he twirls the quarter in his pocket. Five days running he has stood here and each time lost his nerve.

With sweating palms he reaches out for the receiver only to realize that it is missing. “An omen from God” he thinks as he pockets his change.

A radiant sun warms his shoulders as he slowly makes his way back to the homeless shelter. The men step aside as he approaches.

Mornin’ Father Tom”

Mornin’ boys. God has given us another beautiful day“

(100 words)

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29 Responses to “Calling Home”

  1. rochellewisoff May 22, 2013 at 8:00 am #

    Dear Patricia,
    You started us in one direction and took us in another. You never said he was mother’s husband, did you? Lovely twist to a well told story. I enjoyed this very much.
    shalom,
    Rochelle

  2. zennjennc May 22, 2013 at 8:21 am #

    beautifully written

  3. Steve B May 22, 2013 at 8:53 am #

    Great take on the prompt. Strange how fate steps in some times!

  4. lingeringvisions May 22, 2013 at 9:05 am #

    Lovely! The true meaning of empathy is displayed here.

  5. John Nixon (@TheSupercargo) May 22, 2013 at 9:31 am #

    That was a nice switch, from small abandoned boy to “Father”. Well executed!

  6. waitingforaname May 22, 2013 at 9:39 am #

    Beautifully written.

  7. David Stewart May 22, 2013 at 11:07 am #

    That’s great. I love how you handled the mental dilemma.

  8. Dom DiFrancesco May 22, 2013 at 12:13 pm #

    Really wonderful piece, it took a twist I wasn’t expecting. Very nice. 🙂

  9. Yoshiko May 22, 2013 at 12:18 pm #

    Why does the boy’s mother tossed him out? Poor boy 😦

  10. Kwadwo May 22, 2013 at 12:27 pm #

    Sad, but reassuring. He’ll have another chance. I hope she takes him back.

  11. Carrie May 22, 2013 at 2:42 pm #

    Hmmm…was it truly an omen from God or maybe his own justification to not make contact because he is afraid of the response.

    A piece to make you think 🙂

  12. sustainabilitea May 22, 2013 at 2:58 pm #

    What a wonderful twist at the end! I’m glad he has his mission to the homeless to fill some of the void, but I hope he makes that call soon!

    janet

  13. wmqcolby May 22, 2013 at 4:48 pm #

    Super-duper, Patricia!!!! This was GREAT! Nicely written, lots of story.

  14. Helena Hann-Basquiat May 22, 2013 at 7:46 pm #

    Lovely and sad.

  15. Linda Vernon May 23, 2013 at 12:38 am #

    I like this! Such a delicious twist. Very entertaining.

  16. Shreyank May 23, 2013 at 5:05 am #

    nicely done ! 🙂

  17. anelephantcant May 23, 2013 at 6:39 am #

    Terrific tale, great twist, several interpretations.
    All the elements of a great short story.

  18. Penny L Howe May 23, 2013 at 3:11 pm #

    Your story is both well written and poignantly moving. An excellent tale well told! 🙂

  19. buffalostarmedicine May 23, 2013 at 7:49 pm #

    Ach, but I hadn’t even realized the receiver was broken until I did a double take after reading this one. Enjoyed the scene you portrayed!

  20. EagleAye May 23, 2013 at 11:00 pm #

    Touching story. Even the ministers have stories. Well told.

  21. Joe Owens May 24, 2013 at 6:39 am #

    Wow lots of latitude with this take on the prompt. Very good idea for the theme.

  22. neenslewy May 24, 2013 at 7:32 am #

    A great flash, woven well, didn’t expect the twist.

  23. Perry Block (@PerryBlock) May 24, 2013 at 9:04 am #

    Clever shift! Made for an interesting little story.

  24. Trudy K Taylor May 24, 2013 at 10:02 am #

    Unexpected, sad and really well done. Enjoyed reading this!

  25. petrujviljoen May 24, 2013 at 10:48 am #

    I understood the story that the homeless man greeted the Father of the Home,not that the would be caller is the Father. And he needn’t be an ex husband, it could be a son that got tossed out for whatever reason that merely went back to the homeless shelter …

  26. EmmaMc May 24, 2013 at 11:00 am #

    I love how you switched directions here. The vision of the character had completely changed by the time I finished reading. So moving as well.

  27. John Hardy Bell May 24, 2013 at 12:39 pm #

    I hope he finds it within himself to make the call. Really, really nice story Patricia!

  28. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) May 24, 2013 at 4:11 pm #

    This was a true story.. lots of things to read between the lines and a wonderful twist..

  29. Shirley McCann May 25, 2013 at 8:41 am #

    Such a touching story. And so sad. Hope he at least tries to call again.

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